A Building Silence
There is a silence that destroys you. That annihilates everything you stand for, everything you fought for, all the pains you’ve endured and that made you. This kind of silence is a rejection of everything that you are and you’ve been. It’s a weird thing that silence which is the absence of something – namely talk, speech, exchange, connection etc. – can take on such violent forms. But there are situations in life where the things unsaid reveal much more about ourselves than the ones that we actually dare or care to voice.
In this kind of silence there is no peace, there’s only conjecture, construction, frustration and ultimately loss. Without word, there can be no understanding.
But then there are those other kinds of silences and one in particular can build things so much greater than words or explanation ever could. Sometimes, the “denial of words”-silence might mutate – without any real interference – into this latter kind, we could call it new silence.
It might take years or just a few hours. But ultimately that silence, that breaking of connection might spawn a new understanding. Thankfully enough as humans, we are able to forget and even the greatest horrors in life may lose their burning pain. They certainly leave their marks and they shape as much as anything else who we are and what we dream of, but with time, they’re shifted into the backgrounds of that huge scene of our consciousness. And one day we’ll wake up and our first thought isn’t that memory that broke our hearts, or that anger that made us forget all those important lessons of charity, forgiveness and love. We simply get over it. Over and beyond. Over and past it.
That’s the precise moment where the destructive silence can take on another twist and force and turn into forgiveness. Slowly. But once we’ve achieved that, whatever deserved explanation or laying out suddenly doesn’t need anymore clarification and things just become what they are, what they were more precisely.
Sometimes, a silence is a chance. And usually, as with anything, it takes two. One to be silent and the other to accept it.
I myself have just overcome such a silence of several years where no words could overcome what needed to be processed. Where projected ideas about past and future were blocking the way and view of the truth and the facts. I’ve fought that silence, have hated it, have loathed the person subjecting me to it, because of their inability to see me, hear me and accept me. And that silence has broken my heart on many occasions because I was forced into it. Because there was no ear, no possibility, no heart to listen.
And then one day, I just moved on. Laid it down at the altar of all sacrifices and got on with life. Not truly thinking that such things could indeed be overcome. Not for me. Redemption was for others. Or rather I didn’t trust myself to really get over it. I thought that something would always remain of that unspeakable pain.
Experiences and prayers later, suddenly there it was again, that thought that maybe, just maybe … or not? For years, it went on like that. Until one final day, the silence was no more. Without force or willing, but with a gentle turn of fates, suddenly the words flowed and whatever we thought needed saying suddenly had no power over us anymore.
Sometimes, a silence builds new things without us even noticing, without us even consciously working on doing it. Sometimes, those silences are bought with the pain of years past and sometimes what they build is a new house for our soul to live in.
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Blog Award: Me? Are you talking to me?
I was awarded my first ever blog award which I find completely humbling. I do live a rather isolated life on this blog an and a lot of the feedback that I get, is not published in the comments, simply because the authors prefer to send them to me over twitter, plurk or Facebook instead of using the already slightly outdated ‘Comment’ function directly under the post.
So, I was really surprised this afternoon when in my inbox I found a comment that was entitled: I’ve awarded you a blog award.
To be entirely honest, I thought it was a spam at first until I read from who it was of course. This was no spam, but a small lovely blog love sent to me by Inge. Thank you very much Inge for the award. You’re a star!
This award seems to be organised in form of an avalanche across the internet and even if normally I do not support anything that even remotely smells of chain mailing, I will make an exception with this one. 
Here are the rules:
1. The winners can add the logo to their blogs.
2. Add a link on your blog to the one awarding you.
3. Sent the Award to at least seven other bloggers who stand out because of content, themes and designs.
4. Put the links of these sites on your own blog.
5. Leave a comment on their site.
And here are my favourite seven:
- Hunk of Junk: Joel – my husband’s blog on the various things life hold in store for him or rather he for the world. A must read on it: his quotes of the month collection. He copied the idea from me, but, dear, oh, dear, he’s made an art out of it!
- The World according to Taquoriaan: Inge’s blog on everything that she goes through or makes. Loved it from the start and always a pleasant read. Particularly her considerations on green living and cooking.
- Will Wheaton in Exile: Don’t remember the name? Really not? And when I say: Wesley Crusher? Aah, see. Knew it. Well, on his side of the world, Will has been busy becoming a splendid writer that has brough more than one tear of both categories into my eyes. His blog is the collection of his change in life as an child star to isolated geek programmer and eventually freeing his poetical soul and father within. A touching story and if you check it out: worth every second you spend in his archive to get the whole story.
- The Happiness Project: Gretchen Rubin’s blog that started when she was writing a book with the same name. She explores the small things in life that might cast a small smile on your face and the ones around you. Quotes, projects and musings. What’s not to love?
- Solvitur Ambulando: Greg’s fairly new blog that good me immediately hooked onto his life story and the retelling of the various stages a man goes through when finding his place between faith, family, work and adoption.
- nBlog: Nike’s blog. She’s a nymph, a medieval storyteller, a mother, a photography and photoshop artist and so much more. The blog is in German and English and worth every second spent on it.
- Mark Johnson’s Blog: My friend and collegue’s personal non-thomistic blog And even though he’s not as active on it as others, ever post brings a small thought where it’s needed.
- Amorphismen: Manfred G.’s – my oldest moderator buddy – first try at a blog (he ended up using Livejournal. *sigh*) and I am so glad he made the jump. His insight and openings on art and German literature, religious studies is fresh and ever time a small surprise is hidden in a new post.
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Solitude
In a time where every minute of every day is filled with chatter and noise, solitude and silence do seem like an endearing thing. And while silence and solitude are bound to connect us much more deeply to ourselves and the things that haunt us, work on us, make us laugh or cry, they – just as anything else – can be the most oppressive and terrible things.
Being alone, lonely… maybe it’s for that reason that these expressions have become tinged with the sense of something negative. Or maybe it’s just our society that is suggesting that the more people you have around you that keep you from being alone, the more successful, more cherished, loved and popular you are. After all, who actually likes to be alone? Isn’t it rather the mark of a socially inept person to be alone, to seek loneliness, to find silence?
Another tradition runs against this. In it men and women have chosen solitude and silence as a way to holiness. For it is in the silence and solitude that we hear our inner selves proclaimed. It is in these lonely hours between the waking and the morning that we truly have to accept our own limits, our own fear and our own hardships that do not come from the world that surrounds us, but from the world that lives in us. But if holiness is found in solitude, why do we shy away from it?
Getting to know oneself is the challenge of a lifetime and some say that you can never achieve it until you’ve drawn your last breath. Be that as it may, it still is a hard task for sure. There never is a moment where we do not either surprise ourselves or are scared by our own darkness, meanness and gratious hardness towards either ourselves or the people that depend on us. Listening, hearing and accepting those limitations of our own being, of ultimately what makes us be the humans that we are… will break us or make us.
And thus solitude becomes a catalyst, a primer, a moment of hesitations before we launch ourselves back at the world to change it.
This is a tease post in a series of short essays or meditations that will sooner or later be published alongside with my poetry.
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Matter and Consciousness
Apparently I am not the only one having problems with Mr. Pinker. In Science and Spirit, Susan Greenfield1 says this in her interview with the editor Chris Floyd (unfortunately there is no date provided with the article):
And there is another, perhaps more serious problem with attempts by Dennett and others to explain consciousness by purely mechanical processes, she says. “The problem is that he tends to conflate mind with consciousness. I think you can talk about mind being something enduring, something that involves the configuration of your brain cell circuitry. But we know that this personalization of the brain can be divorced from consciousness, because you can lose your mind and still be conscious, you can blow your mind and still be conscious. You can also go to sleep and become unconscious, but you haven’t necessarily lost your mind. So I think the two are separate. But as far as I know, Dennett has not really been fierce about those distinctions.”
No, Dennett certainly has not been as fierce as Pinker is now. But this quote shows two interesting things: a) the connection between personal identity, consciousness and the mind and that b) scientists are sometimes so much more philosophical than philosophers themselves…
- Neuroscientist from the University of Oxford: her profile at wikipedia.
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A Crisis of Consciousness, Part Three
Part three of my critical analysis of Steven Pinker’s latest highly acclaimed article in TIME.
I left off in my last post with the following question regarding Steven Pinker’s style in his latest article: Why? Where lies the reason for the continuous omissions of critical questioning of modern neuro-research findings? I will add another one here: What is he trying to accomplish?
The double-minded agenda - Steven Pinker is pursuing a hidden agenda of his own with the Time.com article. One that I hope will not just disappoint me – as someone who had always appreciated his efforts – but also every philosopher that identifies him-/herself enough with their work in philosophy to follow a certain code of honour in their work and their publications. So far I have not come across any reaction to Pinker’s article from professional philosophers, let alone critiques. All I have encountered is baffled awe by lay people at the so-called results Pinker depicts.
My critique of a double-minded agenda behind “The Mystery of Consciousness” is based on the following:
Whatever the solutions to the Easy and Hard problems turn out to be, few scientists doubt that they will locate consciousness in the activity of the brain. For many non-scientists, this is a terrifying prospect. Not only does it strangle the hope that we might survive the death of our bodies, but it also seems to undermine the notion that we are free agents responsible for our choices–not just in this lifetime but also in a life to come. (…)
My own view is that this is backward: the biology of consciousness offers a sounder basis for morality than the unprovable dogma of an immortal soul.1
First, let me point out the obvious: when stating “few scientists doubt…” it is clearly suggested that there are scientists that would contest this. Who are they? Again, there is a total absence of reference to follow up on.
Second: since when has physical reductionism been accepted? Or let me rephrase: the biological side of consciousness is just the physical side of the phenomenon. This is exactly when John R. Searle states that even tough conscious states and beliefs can be traced to certain brain patterns, it is not automatically clear that they can be reduced exclusively to this biological phenomenon. Science simply does not permit this. While biologists will simply talk about the biological aspect of consciousness, the philosophers throughout history have been talking about the soul. Does it mean that they have been talking about two different things? No. It simply means that they addressed an issue from several, different and distinct sides. Reducing one aspect to another will certainly not be the way to a better understanding of consciousness in particular or the human mind in general.
Third: Based on the second point, how did the undying soul come into the equation all of a sudden? (This is where I start to get a philosophical hiccup that will very well turn in to nausea in a moment.) When Arabic interpretations of Aristotle’s work arrived in Europe, they sparked a huge commentary tradition – largely due to the unclear passages of Aristotle’s texts themselves, but also because namely Averroes and Avicenna had adopted Aristotle’s ideas about epistemology (De anima) in a way that would do exactly what Steven Pinker hopes for neurophysiology: they endangered the idea of an undying human soul. And without an undying soul, there is no afterlife. Based on Aristotle’s description of the soul as eternal, undivided and immaterial, Averroes concluded that the intellect could not be located in the human being himself (since it is material), but rather that the human being – while having an act of intellection – would be linked to the only eternal, immaterial thing in the universe: God. This of course would annihilate any idea of a personal, human intellect and thus was a hard nut to crack for the Christian world view.
While in the 12th century the human soul and thus immortality was endangered by making intellection purely godly, now again it is tried to be annihilated, but by making it purely physical. For a specialist in the theories of intellection, this borders the comic relief. As to the question how Pinker can be completely unaware of the parallels in history, well, maybe it’s the idea that a colleague calls the good trait of amnesia of the history of philosophy in analytical philosophy. (How he manages to stay earnest and actually mean it, is beyond me…)
Not enough that Pinker actively ignorant of any critical points of views on his project of reducing consciousness to mere brain function, not enough that he doesn’t feel ridiculed by ignoring over 800 years of philosophical discourse, he manages to top it all off with a nice punch against religion:
And when you think about it, the doctrine of a life-to-come is not such an uplifting idea after all because it necessarily devalues life on earth. Just remember the most famous people in recent memory who acted in expectation of a reward in the hereafter: the conspirators who hijacked the airliners on 9/11.
And now, I guess we all get the greater picture at last. This is not an article to show us the latest research in neurophysiology or the sciences. This is not a philosophical pleading for reductionism, against the pseudo-problems of metaphysics or even different ideas about consciousness. This is simply a personal vendetta against the idea of an undying soul, an afterlife and religion, motivated by a political agenda that in my view has no place in philosophy of mind.
All that remains for me to say is this: Steven Pinker is another 9/11 casualty. A walking wounded of a conflict that he doesn’t have the means to address (nor does he seem to have any will to address it in it’s proper terms), a philosopher lacking the basic decency of respect for anybody else’s beliefs, a professional engaging in simple partisanship.
We see it happening every day. Seeing it here – where a brilliant philosopher is concerned – is a tragedy.
- Steven Pinker, “The Mystery of Consciousness”, Time.com; Jan. 19, 2007; p. 6.
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A Crisis of Consciousness, Part Two
This is part two of my critical analysis of Steven Pinker’s latest highly acclaimed article in TIME.
We have seen how Steven Pinker synthesizes the last decades of neurophysiological research and the theoretical problems philosophy has had with them.
While addressing the Hard problem of consciousness Pinker neglected to offer the side of John Searle who had addressed physical reduction conscious states to neuronal patterns for quite a while now. This is the underlying problem with Pinker’s article. He simply picks what he likes and leaves out 50% (read 90%) out of the picture.
I understand that everyone writing an article for a popular magazine needs to edit things and limit his scope to certain points. But – as I was taught when I was still working for a daily newspaper and then at University – there is no shame in telling your readers exactly that. “Sorry, limited space and all… I’ll keep to the basics.”
Instead Pinker offers the illusion of a clear picture of the actual and current state of research. Added to this is the fact that he very rarely criticizes the ideas offered by natural scientists. He rarely adds a possible doubt anywhere, or a even rises a possible objection to a dangerously short conclusion. I somehow feel betrayed. Steven Pinker is not doing his job. Or at least not the job I was taught to do, when I studied Philosophy. Let me offer an example:
Take the famous cognitive-dissonance experiments. When an experimenter got people to endure electric shocks in a sham experiment on learning, those who were given a good rationale (“It will help scientists understand learning”) rated the shocks as more painful than the ones given a feeble rationale (“We’re curious.”) Presumably, it’s because the second group would have felt foolish to have suffered for no good reason. Yet when these people were asked why they agreed to be shocked, they offered bogus reasons of their own in all sincerity, like “I used to mess around with radios and got used to electric shocks.”
What is wrong with this picture? The basis of this experiment is the following: I let a bunch of scientist physically abuse me. Even without a rationale, let alone a strong one like the advancement of science, it is clear that there is a moral problem wrapped up in the cognitive one. And Pinker – a philosopher – passes it by like a homeless person in the street: “Ignore it long enough and it will go away”. Is it possible that the people who did get the strong rationale for the experiment felt stronger because they knew that scientists (who are supposed to have higher morale standards) were inflicting them pain in order to advance their science? And would it be possible that the once with a feeble rationale simply felt that something was wrong being inflicted pain without any apparent reason? Once again, the experiment is the problem. Not just the execution. Without knowing it – I hope – the scientists were manipulating their own findings. And all of that because of an absence of moral consideration from their part. And why do we even pay ethical committees in universities?
Apart from the blatant ignoring of critical points in the physical theories he is synthesizing, there is something off in Pinker’s vocabulary.
While talking about consciousness for instance, he always seems to be referring to perception, as if perception was the only thing that made up our consciousness. In fact our consciousness is like a an ever changing picture that can be made up of various conscious states: remembering, reasoning, talking, intellection… thinking. None of them is a purely perceptive state in it’s proper sense, but they require consciousness in a very basic way (as in “I am awake”-conscious) and a more complex way where one conscious state triggers another one (as in “I see a blue car and it reminds me of my first car…”).
On a general basis it can be said that Steven Pinker in addition to ignoring conflicting attitudes to his favorite naturalistic explanations and having a vocabulary that is far from being precise, he also shows an impressively devious motivation. Yes, I dare call Steven Pinker a devious manipulator. Two elements push me towards such a harsh judgment. One is completely inherent to the field of current philosophy and the other is of a more general order. The two are nevertheless intricately linked.
The “I don’t see you, so you don’t see me…” style – The attentive reader will have had a doubt about this tactic from the moment I quoted John Searle’s book The Mystery of Consciousness in the first part of my article. Pinker chooses the same name for his article as one of the great books in the field of the Philosophy of Mind, but not once makes reference to it, probably because citing this book would contest some of his quick drawn conclusions. This tactic is repeated in enough places to just be a simple omission. For instance here:
Sure, you and I both call grass green, but perhaps you see grass as having the color that I would describe, if I were in your shoes, as purple. Or ponder whether there could be a true zombie–a being who acts just like you or me but in whom there is no self actually feeling anything. This was the crux of a Star Trek plot in which officials wanted to reverse-engineer Lieut. Commander Data, and a furious debate erupted as to whether this was merely dismantling a machine or snuffing out a sentient life.
The neat little pop-cultural reference cannot hide the fact that again he is staying quiet about half a library of literature on Zombies as an object of philosophical thought experiments. Since Thomas Nagel published several articles on the nature of philosophical zombies – the oldest dating back as far as 19701 (sic!) – there has been a line of texts treating Commander Data, Robots and what not as possible sources of explaining consciousness2. As for the “…what does is feel like…”, the same Thomas Nagel has started that discussion as well with his now famous article “What Is it Like to Be a Bat?”3 and the responses to it are numerous.
So the question at this stage is the following: Why? Cui bono? Where lies the reason for this style and the continuous omissions?
The answer is far more disappointing that anyone could have anticipated. Let me give you a little hint with Goethe: “… one feels the evil intent and feels displeased…”4
- Thomas Nagel, “Armstrong on the Mind”, Philosophical Review, 79 (1970) , pp. 394-403
- The latest in the line is Robert Kirk’s Zombies and Consciousness, Oxford University Press, 2006.
- Thomas Nagel, “What Is it Like to Be a Bat?” in Philosophical Review LXXXIII, 4, (1974); pp. 435-50.
- J.W. Goethe, Torquato Tasso.
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